So if you don't know, Brian and I are expecting our first baby in June. A precious baby girl, Laney Rose, after her mama and her grandmama (our guardian angel). We are beyond thrilled and absolutely cannot wait to meet this little angel that God has entrusted to us. However, last Monday, we found out some devastating news about Laney.
About 2 weeks ago, they had found a little spot on her heart and referred us to a specialist to have a level 2 ultra sound. At first we were a little anxious, but after talking to people and reading, we felt like everything would be fine. We go for our level 2 ultra sound and the doctor tells us, "We have a more severe problem than the problem on her heart." I felt like someone had completely ripped my heart from my chest. They found that she had a brain defect called Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum (basically the main highway of her brain that allows the two sides to work together is partially development, causing her ventricles to be enlarged.) A million questions rushed through my mind: what does this mean? will she be normal? what hardships will she have? what did I do wrong? How have I already failed as a mom? I couldn't wrap my head around this to save my life, and that went on for a few days. The hardest part was we were given this diagnosis and NOBODY could answer any of our questions. They do not think it is associated with a genetic disorder, but an isolated birth defect (which is positive news). Still, my mind didn't stop for at least 3 days. Here we have this diagnosis that is basically a 'wait and see' diagnosis and she could fall anywhere on the spectrum of perfectly normal to severe developmental delays.
Since then, I have read some very encouraging stories that offered information and hope to both Brian and I. Brian has been such a wonderful and supportive daddy and husband. I honestly have no idea what I would do without him by my side every step of the way. We have now come to peace with the situation, and know that God makes no mistakes. We have fully put our trust in Him, and know that he has given us this special little blessing for a reason. We know there might be challenges, but what parent doesn't have challenges? Every night before we go to bed, we read this verse to Laney (thanks mama Moss for reminding me of this verse ))
Psalm 139:13-17
"For you created my inmost being you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
We want her to know that regardless of any obstacles and challenges she is still our little girl, and we love her unconditionally. We will do absolutely anything to give her the best life possible. She is a child of God, she is special, and she is loved.
Our little angel
